Even when my father was in his late nineties, if ever I attempted to take him to an ‘event for the elderly’, he would steadfastly refuse. With just one functional hip but full mental capacity and an almighty spirit for life, he would look at me indignantly and say, ‘I’m not going, it’s for old people’!

He had moved to London from Newcastle with my mother when they were still fiercely independent at 89 and 78 respectively. A decade later, my mum finally left us, having lost an awful battle with dementia. Only then would my heartbroken dad move in with me and my newborn daughter.  He was 99 and still bright as a button. I would have to arrange regular chess games, language courses, and day trips to antique markets - just to keep him entertained. Always so gracious and good-humoured, he was simply a joy to have around.

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My parents had me very late in life, and I like to think I kept them young. They had such positive perspectives and energy, even in their later years, and I loved being around them. We happily frequented RHS gardens and the cinema together. They became more broad-minded with age, and we shared the same sense of humour, which was fortunate, as being able to laugh at the world is what helps us enjoy the journey!

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Generation gap? What generation gap?

Intergenerational connections are much more prevalent now. Indeed a UK survey, of people aged 18–99, showed that 80 per cent of all ages preferred to mix with people of different generations, and focus on needs, values and interests rather than age differences. There may be a political divide, with older generations tending to be more right of centre compared to the left-leaning youth, but clearly, in our fast-evolving crisis-ridden world, there are so many more things for young and old to come together in agreement on.  

Having much older siblings, and being an older mum with a young daughter, I have always enjoyed friendships with people a generation above and below me. During lockdown, it dawned on me that we can capitalise on these increasing connections to solve some of society’s most pressing problems.

The birth of Hapipod

Lockdown brought to a head the loneliness and isolation of both the old and the young. Even after the pandemic, I heard many stories of lone householders who felt unable to impose on family or friends but wanted a little extra company for conversation or exercise, or practical help with anything from IT to dog walking, gardening or light housework. Meanwhile, the housing crisis has reached critical levels with almost 3.5 million young adults (age 20-34) unable to afford market rents and leave their parental homes, and university students dropping out due to lack of housing.

These issues motivated me to create a community-focused, online ‘matching’ platform called Hapipod.com which I launched in late 2021. I wanted to cut out agency fees and open up practical, life-enhancing homeshare to a broad range of people of all ages and circumstances.

So what is Hapipod?

Hapipod is an introduction site where you create your own profile, and householders and lodgers in the same area can find and connect with an ideal match by personality or shared interests. They agree between them an equitable exchange of company or help for discounted rooms. Lodgers give up to eight hours of their time per week (equating to roughly £400 per month in wages) and in return, get reduced room fees of between £250-350 per month, dependent on room size and location. For as little as £65, members can gain a one month access package, during which all members must pass a safeguarding ID check and are guided to further checks on prospective homesharers.

This mutually beneficial living arrangement sets up a very different relationship to those of young adults feeling forced to stay at home with their parents; it is more a meeting of equals: the ‘older’ householder might have the property, but the ‘younger’ renter also has a lot to bring to the table. As Grace, a 27-year-old landscape gardener, who lives with 80-year-old, globe-trotting retiree Allan, explains...

“What I like about Hapipod is how the exchange of time, company, skills and general assistance is seen as valuable. And the affordable room fee means I’m not so financially strained.”

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‍We call this arrangement ‘pod pairing’ because it is a little like having an au pair or a part-time personal assistant, just adapted for modern lifestyle needs. It is these pod pairs who have given us so many wonderful stories of their life under the same roof together - and I look forward to bringing you their stories in some of my columns for Spring Chicken.

Hapipod Life

The improvement Hapipod makes to people’s lives is both priceless and, in a cost of living crisis, usefully quantifiable. Rather than paying for the extra company or the skills and services offered by their lodger, householders make a small income on top, to help ease their costs. At the same time, they are giving people on restricted incomes affordable rooms, and are helping to counter the housing crisis without them having to downsize from comfortable, family homes. We have householders ranging in age from 41 to 83 who have found happy, helpful homeshares this way.

For many who are left alone in mid-life through divorce or loss of a partner, loneliness, the cost of living and upkeep of an expensive home can present tough challenges. Through Hapipod, compatible people can connect regardless of age, and being able to consider a younger housemate could be just the tonic.

So what are the factors in play that make this mingling of generations not just possible but enjoyable?

‘Middle age’ is shifting backwards

My parents proved that if you are fortunate enough to have good health, age really is but a number. I did not have my own daughter until I was 45, and her first couple of years, though my father’s last, gave him daily motivation and endless delight.

It is a fact that we are living longer and stronger than ever before, and traditional ‘middle age’ is descending later in life. Now, instead of being middle-aged in our 50s and 60s, we are simply mid-life, and that is a very different concept…

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For a start, women aged 50-70 are currently the fastest-growing group of London marathon runners, with a 91% increase in those in their sixties! Even among the over 75s, men and women have higher physical and cognitive capacities than the same age-group did thirty years ago, as a Finnish study showed. Medical advancements have broadened our opportunities and blurred the differences between what was traditionally possible for each generation. While Mick Jagger had his first grandchild at fifty, Naomi Campbell became a first-time mum at the same age.

Age is no longer a barrier

Attitudes to age-related capabilities are shifting. As with my age-defying father, the good news is that how well we age is more about our attitudes and lifestyle choices than our DNA, the latter accounting for only a quarter of our age degeneration.

Our life choices can have a huge impact on our well-being. Research among UK gym-goers in their forties showed their ‘fitness ages’ to be a decade younger, whilst those of non-gym-goers were more likely to be a decade or two older!

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Prolonged youthfulness also changes our leisure preferences, testament to which is the rise in extreme sports sites for older clientele – any Google search will show a raft of options for the mid-life thrill-seeker. Conversely, millennials (age 26–41) now comprise a quarter of all golfers. Who are the ‘fogeys’ now, we ask?

Many of the youth of the roaring 1960s and ’70s are now, in later life, ‘feeling’ as young and vital as ever. My siblings are in this category. Following in my father’s footsteps my sister relocated her life from the US to Mexico at the tender age of 72. She was alone and did not know anyone there, but is now enjoying an entirely new and rejuvenated social life, with many more younger friends! It would seem that ‘seventy is the new fifty’ and ‘sixty the new forty’. Stereotyped age boundaries are shifting.

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There is less to separate the generations

This goes both ways: some social event groups previously aimed at the over-fifties are now broadening out to welcome a younger crowd. Dee Kay, founder of website and event organiser 45 Plus Not Grumpy, finds that different age groups are attracted to similar events such as literary festivals, walks, yoga and holidays. She has witnessed mindsets shifting over the last decade from both ends of the age spectrum.

“People who’ve retired are a lot more confident and no longer see themselves as ‘old’. They want to actively celebrate their free time”. - Dee Kay, founder of 45 Plus Not Grumpy

Tina, a member of 45 Plus Not Grumpy, who is in her thirties, tells me “I’ve made many friends in their fifties and sixties in this group. We share personal insights, moments of happy celebration and genuine conversations. It’s really invaluable to me”.

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Research has shown that having younger companions helps older people feel rejuvenated - while spending time with older people makes younger people more optimistic about growing old and less prone to depression. With less to separate the generations both physically and mentally now, it would seem that interconnecting is a beneficial proposition.

Optimising these connections

Hapipod exists to celebrate these interconnections and to help fulfil a need for people on their own at any age. It’s so much more than just a rent-a-room scheme. Ultimately, diminishing age gaps and the consequent ease of ageless mixing can offer many benefits for our physical health and mental wellbeing. Were my father here today, he would certainly raise a glass to that.

Andrea Frankenthal is the owner of Hapipod Inspired Homeshare. As an introduction site only for householders and helpful lodgers, as the founder of an organisation like Hapipod, that aligns so well with our Spring Chicken ethos of mixing generations, feeling young long after tradition says we should, and celebrating the transition and potential of our mid-life, Andrea is now going to be one of our columnists.

We look forward to hearing more of her thoughts and stories over the coming months

   
Andrea Frankenthal is the founder of Hapipod.com - the only matching site for householders and lodgers of all ages to meet and exchange time or help for discounted room fees.